2004-08-08 - 10:48 a.m.

AM wrote me an e-mail of how he couldn't stop thinking about me. We live a love story that no matter which way I look at it, cannot end well. He is tormented, the unforgiving flame searing him with 3rd degree burns from the inside out.

I have 5 weeks left. How do u contain somebody who has so much affection towards u? It is stronger than anything I've ever come across and no matter the amount of valiant attempts to tame it, I get swept up in its velocity. It's easiest when u don't struggle.

The strength of his fire has grown more powerful than himself. If he gave himself a choice of calling it quits or dying, he'd let it char his body into black smoke. It is preferable to feel intense pleasure and intense pain over a safe and over-protected numbness but with it comes self-destruction. It's no wonder people commit suicide over love.

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