2004-08-06 - 8:18 p.m.

Thursday I woke up to the gentle stroking of AM's hand on my arm. He has a key to the outer door of my building, and the days I know he'll be coming over, I leave my front door unlocked. It is unusal that I didn't rouse from slumber, so he took the opportunity to watch me sleep in the glow of the tv light. He took Friday off from work to partake in his family weekend activity. He said he'd be back on Sunday and would write to me.

Friday I went to a bar near work with friends and the conversation turned to JN . They were trying to convince me to sleep with him. As one friend said, "U share a chemistry." I couldn't believe they were so supportive of the idea. When I left the bar I felt dirty, but pondered the "what if" scenario.

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