2004-08-01 - 9:31 p.m.

Falling asleep around 9pm on Saturday, he was wide awake by 3am and decided to go home to make sure it didn't burn down. I puttered around, checking e-mail, taking care of bills and resting for a bit more. He biked back around 930am and made me an egg, cheese and bacon bagel sandwich for breakfast. After nurturing our stomaches, we then nurtured our hearts.

As we laid there, he said he felt like he had climbed a great mountain and was at the top, looking down. "I feel like I'm suffering from vertigo...I worry that after u leave, I will do something stupid..."

I am concerned that this relationship is consuming him. It eats at him from the inside out, and already his fragile shell is breaking down: among other things, his skin is drying out, his mouth has broken out twice with cold sores... Is it possible to burn out from love?

Of all my lovers, I feel most comfortable with him. He makes me want to dispel my worst intimacy issue: allowing myself to fully let go. He is a wonderful human being.

before - after

past entries

my profile