2004-06-02 - 9:01 p.m.

I e-mailed DP the other day in hopes of him writing me a story that I can take with me to Scotland. He responded the next day, sounding pleased that I got in touch. In exchange for a story, I suggested we attend to the pizza date that was much talked about, but never realized. He's 16. He won't say no.

I also e-mailed JN, 18 now, about painting me a picture. He was also pleased at the request. Putty in my hands...

I sat with AM this morning, where he said that he wanted to tell his wife about us. She knows that we spend a lot of time together (even kids with him that I'm his girlfriend) both in and out of work. She's smart and purposefully turns a blind eye, waiting to hear it come from his mouth before she is forced to face the reality.

I warned him that her and my relationship will be forever broken if he tells her. I told him to think about whether 13 weeks of this was worth causing her pain.

Without her consent, we won't have sex. But how could she say yes? This relationship was doomed from the start, but people are social creatures and when a girl bonds with a boy, it becomes virtually impossible not to want to care for the other physically. That's human nature, baby.

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